Sangat Pedas

They’re messing with our brain! #Samsung

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You remember the post about the Samsung Galaxy Tab launch? Wasn’t really positive right? Pretty sarcastic actually to people buying it and especially when they are  willing to wait 5 hours in line for it. Guess what! Today, not even three weeks later everything changed and I went to every mall in Jakarta because I simply had to have it, I needed it, can’t live without it. It was thanks to some divine intervention that prevented me from really buying it. In the first two malls it was sold out but the third had it. Getting out my wallet I discovered that my creditcard was missing. Walking disappointed outside I called my business partner who pointed out I should be able to use my maestro back card so I went back but no dice, didn’t have the right payment terminal. But they pointed me to the ATM in the 2nd floor but again that attempt was in vain.

Once home again I started thinking, what just happened here? Why all of a sudden my mind told me I had to have it? I became like a split personality. One side yelled “DON’T BUY IT!! It will only end up in the cabinet with the other ‘need to have’ gadgets’. But the other half had an overwhelming amount of reasons I had to have it. It told me you just NEED to have it during meeting. It told me it would look super cool at the beach checking my mail. Ubercool in a plane watching some youtubies, megacool making calls with it using the included bluetooth headset (yep this one actually can make phonecalls!).

I decided that something was wrong and I started to do some research. First about Samsung. Did you know Samsung is the world’s largest conglomerate by revenue with an annual revenue of US $173.4 billion in 2008. I mean, why? What’s wrong with Sony and Philips? And why on earth would anyone willingly buy a Samsung car????

Yep, this is definitely a smoking gun, another breaking item from SP, this will go viral like crazy. Because we know what’s behind it: SUBLIMINAL ADVERTISING!! I know what you’re thinking: “OMG, SangatPedas making a drama again cos subliminal advertising has long been banned!”. Right? Well, think again because subliminal advertising is back and bigger than before. Allow me to run the techniques ingeniously  used by Samsung.

Doctor-Patient Drug Kick-Backs
Basically this is a strategy where one creates a need first followed by the cure. I’ve been hearing nothing else like “Ooooh, mobile is gonna be huge!, you need to be mobile dude”. From TechCrunch to E27 to Dailysocail, they’re all in on it. Everyday they tell us how the world is getting mobile and basically making you believe that you got to be in on it or accept becoming an outcast. And then one day salvation arrives, the Samsung Galaxy Tab. Coincidence? No Sir, not in my book!

Private Conversation Rental
Now it’s getting serious. Positive buzz can be triggered artificially for a price. “Marketers now recruit secret ‘buzz agents’ to promote to their friends and family. One buzz agency claims to have an army of agents in every major US city. Their job is to mention or display certain products as they go about their day, using their relationships as marketing channels. Today’s billion dollar 12-16 year olds are so immune to traditional advertising, mass media is no longer a reliable persuasive device - so the alternative is a ‘synthetic grapevine.’ They got to my business partner! Must be, he’s flashing around his Galaxy everyday and so obviously and obnoxiously enjoying it, it slowly got to me. The smug on his face, subtle hints that basically he’s more more advanced person and expressing disappointment that I so far neglected to buy one.

Neuromarketing
Corporations are going to enormous lengths to probe the minds of consumers - literally tapping into their brains. The Brighthouse Institute for Thought Sciences, in Atlanta, is one lab that is scanning people’s brains with MRIs, in an effort to decode and record our subconscious thoughts and devise more seductive advertising. The process is being called neuromarketing.” What more prove do you need? They’re literally tapping into our brains to discover how it can be reprogrammed by them!

Planted news stories<
Industry front groups, public relations firms and government departments are planting news stories on TV, radio, newspapers and the web. Those ‘miracle drug’ stories or research reports are often Video News Release (VNRs). TV newsrooms love these prepackaged news items that are distributed across the networks. It saves them time and money but it is killing community news and genuine investigative reporting. Real news items are being replaced by slick corporate promotions and political messages. According to one Nielsen Media Research Survey, about 80 percent of U.S. news directors air VNRs several times a month, and all American television newsrooms now use VNRs in their newscasts. Again, what you perceive as news is actually advertising 4.0, cunning and lethal. Hell, how can you be sure that this post isn’t some paid for reversed psychology post, you know we need the money!

Sent from my Galaxy
Do you recognize this? Sent from my iPad, Sent from my iPhone, sent from my Galaxy. What? Surprised? Of course Apple is in on it too, I mean why would people buy inferior laptops for more money? Or buy a phone that has terrible reach, a crappy camera and a battery time that’s just not enough if you actually use the phone? Anyway, it’s evil genius, every email ends with “Send from my Galaxy”. Why? Did you ever see: “Send from my Pentium II” Any idea how much emails my business partner sends me and in the meantime reminds me that he already us mobile cos he HAS the Galaxy?

And this is just the tip of the iceberg people. Psychology students have completed a study which suggests that our desire to own gadgets is inversely proportional to the actual use they will get once we do. In plain words, the more you want something the less you actually need it. And we even didn’t talk about “Chatbots and Stealth Voicemail”, “Real time bugging of personal data” or the always annoying but oh so effective “Sidewalk Stalkers”.

People, this is an attempt for word domination that makes Dr. Evil look like an amateur. We need to resist, be strong, no longer allow the Samsungs in this world to program our brain and let us buy great stuff we don’t need and never gonna use. Don’t buy this crap anymore, just don’t. Instead enjoy live, book a trip to Bali, read a book, save money for later but whatever you do don’t buy gadgets anymore!

Expected tomorrow on SangatPedas: An objective user review of the Samsung Galaxy Tab.

Update: Today another attempt, back to the store with my credit card. The girl ask me: “did you bring your passport sir?” Well, no problem I thought, I brought my SIM (Indonesian drivers license) and my Dutch drivers license. “[Sales girl]: No sir, can not, we need your passport. [Me]: But mam, a SIM is an official identity card, I can use it for identification at the bank, airport and anywhere else for that matter. [Sales girl]: Sorry sir, can not….” In the next store the price suddenly was Rp. 8 mln so that was it for me, I’m out, enough signs that it just isn’t meant to be…..