Sangat Pedas

Rocket Internet Blitzkrieg In Indonesia


Herr leutenant, is the whole mannschaft present? JAWOHL HERR GESCHAFTSFUHRER!

Gut, männer, I habe some big news. Pack your bratwurst, lederhose, spreewaldgurken und gartenzwerge cos we’re going to conquer Indonesia, ja. With German precision, sauberkeit, grundlichkeit und punktlichkeit we will kruss the market, level it to the ground and dominate it, ja. Haben sie das verstanden? Jahwohl herr geschaftsfuhrer. I SAID, HABEN SIE DAS VERSTANDEN?! JAWHOL HERR GESCHAFTSFUHRER!!

Nah also, the target is to become das #1 online fashion store in 2 seasons and get at least an 80% marketshare. This will be eine BLITZKRIEG which we germans are known for! Less than that will be considered a failure UND YOU KNOW WAS WE DO WITH FAILURES! 6 Monate without salary and losing 50% of your 0.025% equity or being send off to Russia, ja. HABEN SIE MICH VERSTANDEN?! JAWOHL HERR GESCHAFTSFUHRER!

Aber herr geschafftsfuhrer, are you sure this is gonna work? Ich meine, Indonesia might have some trouble with sauberkeit, grundlichkeit und punktlichkeit. I mean there are floods, traffic jams, power outages and all other kinds of barriers and obstacles. JA UNSUMSTWURSTEBRAT SCHWEINEHACKSE! Bist du gar verruckt? FAILURE IST KEINE OPTION! Also, Ich expect sie allen to catch bullets for us, prepared to give your live and blood and make me rich proud. We are different, we have kids, are humble and treat the press like shit. Do I make myself clear? JAWOHL HERR GESCHAFTSFUHRER!

JA STRUMPFEKLUBE WIENERSCHNITZEL NOCH AN ZU, was machen sie da???!!! Ja du, pretty boy! Don’t use a pen to sign your contract, use your blood for that!

This might just be the way the infamous Samwer brothers briefed their Indonesian team. But all jokes aside (which is hard for a Dutch guy talking about Germans), these are some serious e-commerce dudes. Undisputed KINGS OF CLONES but with a methodology, precision, focus, resources and execution power that sends shivers down your spine. Rocket Internet grows faster than a BP oil spill. These guys clone faster and sometimes better than the original. Rocket Internet is the Super KW AAA ++++ amongst the tech companies. While Pinterest is still in invitation mode (but getting unbelievable traction) the Rocket guys already have Pinspire up and running and surfing the wave of traction. They have build Zalando (Zappo clone) which is a huge success, pumped a shit load of money in Airbnb clone Wimdu and they’ve earned their marks in the daily deal with so these guys know their stuff and have virtually unlimited resources.

We’ve asked for a war in the startup scene and we’ll get one now. This is gonna be Audi against Timur, Autobahn versus Jalan Tol, bradwurst vs. satay, Bitburger versus Bintang, punktlichkeit versus nongkrong. One would almost say this is a lost battle upfront, but the upside is that it will most likely be a big boost for ecommerce in general in Indonesia. Also it will be nice to see how much Rocket is willing and able to build in some flexibility which might be needed to fit the local market here. In the meanwhile it will also be interesting to see how this German precision strategy is adopted and executed by the Indonesian team. For the rest I hope to receive many invitations for the Deutsche Bierfeste. PROST!